Severe anxiety is nothing more than a cluster of phobias and is often followed by depression. The more one fears, the less of normal activities one may enjoy during their lifetime. Some may collect more phobias than they conquer, the older they become, if the age from where they left off. Sorrow normally comes after facing a fear, sometimes it just appears on its own. Some fears cause people to tell themselves things they know aren't true, but the thoughts never fade; day in and day out.
The people who suffer the most always show a smile, rather it be in school, work or public. They are optimist most of the time, and some hide problems so well; you may never know something is wrong, until it's to late.
Yes everyone has some form of anxiety, but not everyone has severe anxiety. Basic anxiety stems from normal things to stress about; like starting a new job or that exam you "forgot" to study for. Not everyone goes through panic/anxiety attacks weekly or even daily like myself. These attacks don't have to have a reason, they can just pop up out of nowhere. No warning sign nothing. Could be the best damn day someone has and all of a sudden their worst.
I'v been told by people who don't have severe anxiety tell me to just get over it, it's nothing, or that other people have "issues". Severe anxiety isn't an issue, for those who truly believe it is, need to fear nearly everything and tell me it's just "issues". Severe anxiety is a disorder, a chemical imbalance in the brain. That chemical isn't something someone can just create out of nothing, that's what medicine is for, though is the medicine really worth it? For some possibly, but it changes who YOU are. Your personality changes. Given time, not much is feared anymore, people become distant, and I even feel soulless at times, like nothing will phase me anymore.
Other effects are just as terrifying to others as they are to whoever takes medicine for this disorder. Some may become confused, they won't remember who they are, how to do ritual activities, or even where they are! Faintness; one of the worst side effects I'v experience, your whole body aches like you are running a high fever, but your temperature gets lowers. Everything grows dark, the pigment from your vision just disappears, and you can't feel anything. Luckily I was able to wobbly myself to a seat to gather myself. There are many more side effects than those two, some actually really devastating. It's almost like the only thing the medicine ever fixed were the fears.
My biggest fear is claustrophobia. I fear small places, I fear being trapped. Which is why I fear most other things. It isn't necessarily the fact I fear something else like being social. I'm not always afraid to interact with others. I just don't like feeling confine to one spot, I'm constantly moving or doing something else apposed to just talking. I am however social phobic, but depending on the day I can push that aside, though I can't only hold a conversation for a short time before my anxiety kicks in.
Tonight is the forth night back on my medicine and let me tell you it isn't very fun. I don't have to take it, the reason why I do though is because not everyone sees severe anxiety as a disorder. I can't run the phone or work the registers at work unless I have medicine, but I can't take medicine for long before the side effects get progressive worse. Here I'm guessing within a few more days, I wont be able to stand for long. I'm going to show they people at work what I'm like with medicine, and show them why I'm not on medicine. Yes I can leave and find a new place, but I really enjoy where I'm at and I feel it just isn't my time to leave yet. Everything happens for a reason and I don't have a reason to leave.
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