Summer Plans

     I have a good amount of activities planned for this summer. I did plan on doing a separate post over each thing but I felt I wouldn't be able to come up with enough to say for just one project. If I feel like to split this post than I will, and I will more than likely find more things I would be willing to try this summer as well.

     One of the things I planned for this summer I had mentioned in my article Backpacking. For those who haven't read it yet feel free to, but basically I plan on traveling around a bit. By foot is ideal since that is backpacking. Traveling in general though would be just as fun. I had also planned on taking a plentiful amount of pictures for my nature blog, or a new photography blog if I feel the need to be organized about my photos.

     Aside from backpacking however, I also plan on trying to plant a flower bed, and possibly a rose bed. I love plans, if it were up to me the whole yard would be nothing but flowers and trees, but my parents aren't to keen on that idea for some reason. Part of the reason I want to plan beds is so I have more plants to turn into stars. I would be able to take pictures daily and upload them on my photography blog Opachii's Photography. More than likely if this happened I would create separate blogs for different types of flowers to stay organized... I hate feeling the need to be so organized but it bothers me if I'm not.

     Along side the flower and rose bed, why not try an orchard? I want to plant a forest but my parents of course don't like the idea of that and frankly there just isn't enough yard left to do so. I rather enjoy tending to nature. I can help it thrive without the worry of offending someone or being judged. I plan on planting something around twelve to fifteen trees, all depends on how much space I have left over from the beeboxes.

     The last thing I have in mind for this summer at the moment is bees. I'm hoping to become a bee keeper. Not only would it be a fun experience, but it would also be a smart move. My plants would thrive, and anything that bares fruit should produce much better bushels. One of the reasons I want a rose bed is, because the only way to get rose seeds is if bees pollinate the flower. I would then use the seeds to make starts, and either breed different verities of roses or just sell them the way they are. I'm unsure about rather or not I want to take the time to cross rose breads.

      

Future Posts

     I didn't quiet get the whole day to think of other posts I might want to include in the future, I may have been a bit preoccupied with my game. Unlocked something just last night and wanted the day to gather materials to make a good amount of gold. That wasn't the only thing I'v done today though, I also went through my cards some more. I have most of the sets all singled out, but left the big stacks for later as I know they will take a while to completely sort.
 
     I know I didn't get to all my posts I said I would get to in my last article of future posts, but I'v been thinking I might try to do a post like this once a week, just to have a day to relax while I'm still releasing content. I could also, once I get enough stories and ideas to write about, I should be able to go ahead and type up many of the stories and set the blog to publish my drafts, I may or may not use that option, though it may come in handy from time to time.

     The posts I don't get to in the previous week I will add to the list of posts I plan on doing. There will probably be several repeat titles, but as there are only seven days in a week, and I'm only posting once a day. I can only cover a few of the stories, at least until my list stay small. If I end up getting enough content built up for a month or two I may up the posting to two posts a day, unsure of that though. Anyways here are posts to look forward to within not only the near but far future!

Things That Help: What helps me control my anxiety

Collection: I have more than just a card collection, so I figured I would just talk about collections in general

My Card Collection, Not only my Pokemon cards but other cards I have collected over the years. Some I know what they are, some I have no clue, they were just cheap so why not.

My Senior Year (five parts): What all I dealt with my senior year

Busy With WoW (World of Warcraft): I recently got back into playing the popular MMO, and I done a few cool things

Spring Fever!: Can't wait for the warmer weather -.-

Summer Plans (May be a few parts): I have many things planned for this summer. Rather or not I will do any of them, the mystery remains.

Trip to Pennsylvania: I will be heading to Pennsylvania here in a little under 2 weeks, why not blog about it?

Childish: Just a bit of a rant between "maturity" and "immaturity".

     Posts I got done from last weeks list:

Hands Up

Backpacking

My Other Blogs

Blogoholic!



     

Late Night Thinking

     Spent most of last night thinking of stories I could tell. I don't normally share stories with people. Usually I would just listen to what stories others had to tell. I guess the older I got and the more I listened the less stories of my on I retained. So last night I was thinking back when my social anxiety/ OCD started. It had to of been around second grade. Anyways I remembered stories I could tell, several more in which some may have parts to or back links to old stories.

     Though the pondering came at a bit of a price, my eyes were telling my mind to shut up or it would shoot, and my mind was all like YOLO. I didn't write any of the ideas down yet, I figured I would take a day, more than likely tomorrow and write a list of future stories, that I will post more than likely tomorrow. Still haven't sorted through all my cards. I didn't have a whole lot of time today, and tomorrow I'm not sure how much time I will have. That post will probably be up mid next week no later than late next week I'm hoping.

     Anyways, what got me thinking was I was having problems with Netflix. I typically have Netflix playing in the background while I try to sleep just because I can focus on it more than I focus on thinking about stuff. Well I had forgotten the login information so I was without my fix for the night. I ended up getting tired of being tired so I got up and drew something. I will try to post it though I'm having problems with getting pictures off my phone for some reason. I might be able to add it later on from my phone. It is unfinished at the moment and will probably remain.

     I like it, but for some reason I haven't been able to finish a drawing since I graduated, so two years ago. Personally I like unfinished drawings a bit better than finished ones. Not sure why they are just ab it more appealing to me. I have some finished ones that I really like, even ones with color that I spent hours on but they just are very inspiring to me.

     I'm actually pretty excited to start telling some of my stories. Believe it or not once upon a time I was actually outgoing. Don't get me wrong I was still shy, but when I was around my friends I could care less how I was acting. Some of the stories I may have to skip out on though, I'm unsure because they may cause more problems on my end even though I don't mind sharing others may. I plan on doing a future content post tomorrow night, and Monday I'm unsure but I may talk a bit more about projects I'v been working on and starting to learn. Until tomorrow, I hope everyone has a pleasant rest of the night!

A Big Thanks!

     I know I said I would be doing a post over my Pokemon collection, but it turns out I bit off more than I could chew. I have been sorting all my cards out by sets, there are 68 sets, so sorting through roughly seven thousand, eight thousand cards, that alone took me around ten hours to separate. A few hours ago I recently was able to sort the sets out by when they came out, that didn't take but ten to fifteen minutes, but I started with the first set. I looked and set aside any duplicates, than sorted the cards out by the order they go in for the set. So far each set has taken me about thirty minutes to sort and put into binders. Anyways, I will go more into this whenever I get it done...

      With this blog being started about two weeks ago, I had a blog similar to this one a few years ago. It was something I did while I was going through everything my senior year, though I didn't really mention anything that was going on. All the content dealt mostly with writing exercises, and a few hundred word short stories I wrote to keep me busy, and hope to help with my book "Akio"

      It was last year or maybe the year before, school years are a little confusing because that was how I use to base what happened during that year. That blog started running really slow for some reason, at first, being a new blogger, I though it had something to do with how many posts I had. I think it was around three hundred, so I deleted a lot of them. The blog was still sluggish, so overall I gave up on it, Moved my short stories to Lorekeepers Inn. I never really shared any of my posts on facebook either, I was still new and didn't quite like other people reading what I wrote. At least people I knew.

     Still it is hard for me to share this kind of stuff on facebook, though ironically facebook seems to be a good source of traffic. People may just be a bit noisy or they could actually care about whats going on, and find some of this stuff quite entertaining, or even helpful. I know I haven't really gone over a whole lot of helpful stuff, but I always felt better knowing that I wasn't alone.

     Rounding the one thousand view mark I believe I will hit it either this Sunday or Monday, which is a big deal! I couldn't have done it with out my loyal readers. They put up with my poorly conducted sentence structure, and still come bad for more! I want to thank each and everyone of you. I know who a few of the readers are, but the mystery of the others is very suspenseful. I often hit the refresh button a few times, when I see a view from facebook I check to see who is on, and try to guess who may be reading my posts. Anyways again thank you everyone for the support, it really helps!   

Again With the Snow

     As much as people think I like snow, I really don't. I'm the type of person after it accumulates once I'm ready for the 70 plus degree weather. Sunny day or not I don't really care. I just like the warm weather, and a lot of that has to do with my claustrophobia. During the winter I typically stay in more, and I don't very much like it, not one bit.

     I was looking at the weather the other day though and it appears the warmth is creeping it's way back. As windy as it has been though, I'm also not a big fan of wind. A lot of that has to do with just about everything I enjoy doing outside requires little to no wind. Some things can still be done while it's windy though not as enjoyable, like fishing on a boat. It's not fun finding a school of fish than a second later your boat is on the other side of the lake, especially if you a fishing a small tournament.

    I do however like telling people who I know hate the snow when there is snow in the forecast. Their reactions are funny, and it's also fun to tease. Watch though half way through summer and there will be people who are ready for winter because it's to hot. Something that I found interesting, my dad was over in Malaysia during their cold season. Well their cold season was just beginning anyways. It was roughly 80 degrees out while the people there were starting to wear coats. I'm not sure if the coats were winter wear as my dad stated or not, but I wasn't there.

     One thing to look forward to after winter this year, it's only a thought as of now, but this year is believed to be a long time coming, one of the best years for moral mushrooms. I know it's a bit of a lost art nowadays, but I am one that enjoys going out and looking for the stealth fungus. Even if I don't eat them, it is still fun. I like the outdoors and if I lived in an area where there were more orchards, vineyards, and berry patches, I would probably spend my whole day outside.

     I will probably be covering my Pokemon collection tomorrow, as it has been one of the biggest things that has helped me. I will be doing a post over how collection in general helps with anxiety, or at least how it helps mine. I spent most of my day today looking for more farming places on World of Warcraft, and sorting out my Pokemon cards once again. I was scheduled to work, but I'm guessing with the weather people didn't want to get out, so we were pretty dead today. I have the whole day off tomorrow as of right now, and I plan on hopefully getting the rest of my cards sorted... I have over seven thousand cards, probably a bit close to eight thousand now. It's a collection started from my childhood.      

Blogoholic!

     Not only am I workoholic but it turns out I'm a bit of a blogholoic too. I guess I just love keeping myself. If I'm not working I normally either think of new blogs I can make, or I try to find content for the blogs I already have. Some blogs it's harder to find interesting post worthy content others not so much. I currently got done with gathering screen shots for one of my guide blogs. Turns out I have enough screenshots to cover well over 60 posts, which is nice and all I just need to find the time to add wording in with the pictures than I'm good to go.

     I currently have 10 blogs only 6 of which I manage, and that still isn't enough! There is so much more I would love to blog about and with as organized of a person as I am, a few blogs simply wont do. Plus it is always nice to keep different groups separate. I don't want a Terraria fan based community interfering with my World of Warcraft fan based community, it allows other people to feel a bit more comfortable and welcomed.

     Anyways not only do I have 10 blogs to my name, I also have few ideas for other blogs... just a few -.-. I have written down because only God would remember them if I don't write them down. I have thought about doing a movie review channel. I'm not sure if I will be doing one or not because the only thing I really ever watch is Family Guy, every now and then American Dad or Futurama. My idea behind the blog was I can't seem to watch a movie all the way through without criticizing it at some point. I would have gone over the parts that I enjoyed and gave input in what I thought would have made parts I didn't like better. A writing exercise for me nonetheless.

     A steam game review once crossed my mind as I don't really like playing games because they are games, I am fairly picky with what I choose to stare at, I like a lot of creativity in the games I play. A good story more than anything. There are a decent amount of games within the steam library that are under five dollars and I figured "Why not review these games to help others find games they may enjoy" Rather or not it will happen I'm not sure. To be honest I'm not much of a gamer.

     This one I'm still pondering over. It is something I would really like to do and my brother has opt to help me with some of the content, though it isn't something I would like to just through together and call it good. I'm very much so into EDM, electronic dance music, I found a demo version of the studio many of the well known DJ's and artists use. Though limited to a various amount of sounds, it is still enough I should be able to come up with my own music which would be cool to be known as DJ Opachii, but that is only a dream as of today.

     Now I have mentioned before that I own a nature photography blog, Opachii's Photography. Though one thing that crossed my mind one day while seeing an adult coloring book on my grandmothers table. Why not turn some of my photo's into coloring pages? This is something I do plan on doing though I have only found one way of turning my photo's into coloring pages and I'm not to fond of the way they turn out. I may draw them and try to get a bit more of a cartoon style, but as of now I just need to find a better way to transform them.

     Okay so I think a bit to much sometimes... all the time perhaps. Since I haven't been writing, why let my ideas go to waste? I would definitally have to be careful about this and not give to much detail, but I would simply turn some of the ideas I'v jotted down into prompts. I don't really have enough written down, key word written. I can be a bit forgetful sometimes, but I don't have enough content to start a blog at the moment though it would really take a day of brain storming and I could have a few hundred prompts.

     This will be one I would do in the future more so when my blogs become a bit more popular due to the fact it would be nothing to the people I help if they aren't getting any views off it. A promotion blog is something I feel a bit compelled to do. Mostly because I know how hard promoting can be. It would be a few promotion site of course, and I'm undecided how I want to find my content for this blog. I could just do it to be nice and help a small youtube channel, or I could take application type things and promote one person a week. Either way I feel it would be fun to do something like this.

     If you struggle with synonyms as much as I do than this might just be a blog you would want to check out. I have a pretty small vocabulary, probably because I don't enjoy reading... a writer who doesn't read, how odd. I have been gathering synonyms I use in my stories to create a word of the day blog. I often find myself with an open tab saying "synonym for" just in case I feel like I should spice up the sentence structure. I normally do it for my blogs too, but this one I feel like I should try to work on it on my own instead of using the interwebz.

     These will end up being separate blogs because of course both communities don't get along all the time, but I plan on doing a card opening blog for not only Pokemon (Yes I still collect Pokemon cards) and Magic to Gathering. Often you will find videos over people opening card pack, how this is entertaining? *Shrug*. I was recently looking up to see if any one else has a blog over such a thing and I didn't find any. I thought that since I don't like talking taking pictures would be a good way to go about doing this.

     As you are aware I'm doing a bit better today, hence the tasteful humor. I'm sure there will be many other blogs I dream to start, I know there was one that I guess I didn't write down. :O I remembered something... I enjoy baking oddly enough so I thought about blogging recipes I make. I would take a picture of the finished product and probably rate how easy or hard it was to make for people just starting off. Hopefully everyone had as wonderful of a day as I did!        

Effects From Severe Anxiety

     Often a panic attack an anxiety attack are used to describe the same thing, yet they are very different. I'v had both and I also get depressed to the point of a mental breakdown. Aside from OCD and Social anxiety I also suffer from something I like to keep from people even myself, MDD Major depression disorder. The thoughts never stop, no matter how happy I may seem. I may in fact need to start taking my medicine once again, because I don't have time to care for myself.

     Work is what usually helps me with my depression because it keeps me busy, but with the problems I have been having more are being adding on. I stay because I'm comfortable there, it's hard for people to understand what I have and why they can't just treat me like a sack of shit, suicidal thoughts never leave my mind which for me is one thing I really don't want to admit to, but hey I'm still here. This post is becoming hard to type but it's just like every other day, I have to power through it.

     When I explain to people why I can't do simple tasks they tell me I ask for petty, and that I want sympathy, or attention. They don't realize how hard it truly is for me to admit that I'm weak. If it things hadn't been pushed to the point to where I had to explain why, I wouldn't mention it. I hate sympathy, it just makes me feel even worse. I don't want people to feel sorry for me and treat me any different than what they were before the point of fining out. Nothing about me has changed other than the knowing of a disorder. If people would just take the time to understand rather than to point fingers maybe my anxiety wouldn't be at this point. It's getting worse everyday, because I am surrounded by people who you rather push me over the edge than to pull me up.

     OCD isn't what many think it is. Yes I am a bit picky at how things are placed, but that alone isn't OCD. Obsessive compulsive disorder means you feel like you need to repeat something until it feels right, or reoccurring thoughts that you try ever so hard to get rid of, but you can't. Do you know what it's like to think every day that your closest of friends don't want anything to do with you? My OCD isn't terribly bad but still enough I struggle with it on a daily basis. My biggest problem with OCD would be the unwanted thoughts, some of the things that stick in my mind I don't even know how they came about.

     Social anxiety is exactly what it sounds like. Sometimes it becomes hard for me to look the very few people I trust in the eyes. I'm very quite, and avoid talking to people as much as I can. I remember just a few weeks ago I was at walmart with my my and she wasn't paying attention to the greeter who had asked us how we were doing, I just looked at him and shrugged my shoulders, it was humiliating. On top of that an intense worry of him thinking I was rude overwhelmed me, and by the time I got the courage to answer it would have been awkward to say anything. A lot of times when I do talk to people I trust or feel comfortable talking to I always feel the need to explain myself, even if there isn't anything to explain. I like being in public but I don't like being around people. It's hard to explain but I'm very claustrophobic so any chance I get to get out or away from my normal surroundings I will take it.

     Here lately I'v been struggling with my depression, I feel unwanted, like everyone hates me, like everything is my fault, which when put in perspective at least in my eyes, it really does seem like everything's been my fault. I don't like mentioning to people when I'm struggling like this but most of the time when I do I'm ignored making everything just dandy, not really, but I need some sense of humor embedded withing these articles. It looks like I pulled through this breakdown or panic attack or what ever you want to call it, I just hate being in that state of mind.

     Severe Anxiety typically comes with depression, the way these two disorders effect me I guess depends on the day. Here lately my insomnia has been pretty bad, I can go to bed at 10-11 but wont actually get to sleep until 4-5 in the morning if I even get to sleep. When I do fall asleep I often have night terrors, I use to wake up, not screaming because I have trained myself to be as quite as a rogue. Really though I don't make a lot of noise even when walked, I am often told I need a bell, I don't want to be noticed.

     Aside from having problems with sleeping, I also often fear someone is out to get me or is watching my every move. I become irritable and tend to overreacted to meaningless situations. If more of those I am around would understand this is out of my control. Than maybe I wouldn't get in as depressed of a state as I get in, and they could help reassure me and pick me up when I'm in this state. It isn't hard to do just don't provoke me to think you are out to get me or that I'm unwanted. The same day I was told be the manager I needed to answer the phone she had also said that I was unless filling in for people who knew how to. Funny thing is not many people there have as bad of anxiety as I do and can answer the phone. One person isn't that big of a difference plus I have a valid reason for why I can't.

     I know this post may seem a bit unorganized but I have a difficult time keeping a straight thought.